obliviously.., duh!

~^▼^~

I feel isolated.

I'm feeling socially isolated. I don't seem to really fit in anywhere. I just wanna belong somewhere.

How am I doing friend-wise? Sean…? I'm third wheel with da bois, Hailey decided to make me her villain, Sarah is in the fucking hospital (hope you get better soon!). Eoin is really nice but I've hurt him and I'm still feeling bad about it.

Idk. Idk. It's just me and Sean now. And things between us are complicated.

He shushes me and cuts me off. He discards me like some piece of trash whenever we need to form pairs or groups. HE WON'T FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT USELESS GEOGRAPHIC FUNFACTS. Also, he seems to think "amogus" is still funny in 2024. C'mon. What age are you?

I'm sorry Sean, I'm just not feeling the vibe.

It's really fucked up that our friend group dissolved. Two bad breakups was all it took. Bye bye UnderSquad. It's the only group I've ever felt I really belonged. It's just not the same anymore.

At least Sem is nice. He's always friendly and understanding. Sometimes he's even funny! But I always feel like he lives in his own little bubble and is doing just fine in there.

I don't wanna become that "friend" that glues themselves to someone else because they're the only real friend they have. (Ahem, SEAN!)

Idk why social stuff is so hard. I can socialize with people one-on-one just fine. But i'm always the misfit in groups.

Maybe that's why I've always prefered talking to adults? At least they take me seriously (somewhat, depends on whom i'm talking to…) and see me for who I am (instead of always being "that socially-akward nerdy computer kid that doesn't quite get what is cool and always accidentally does what is most uncool at the current point in time". yes I know, that's quite a long title).

But—hey, who would've guessed!—turns out that surrounding myself with people 5-10 years older isn't making me happy either.

I just want someone my age to talk to, ok. I'm not asking for much.